What stops you from being true to yourself

shutterstock_189619739A favourite refrain of my parents’ when I wanted to do something or other that didn’t meet with their approval was, “What will the neighbours say?”

The idea that I had to make sure I did nothing that might

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Is worry useful or useless? Here’s how to tell the difference

shutterstock_220750444Here’s something I finally figured out:

Worrying is a habit. A lot of it falls under the heading of ‘what if’. “What if I get made redundant?”, “what if (s/he) has an accident?”, “what if I’m delayed and I miss my flight?”, “what if the hospital tests show I have some dreadful disease?”.  Which

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Changing other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…

shutterstock_220936639Today I’m going to make two recommendations that appear to be in direct conflict with each other:

Recommendation No. 1:

Don’t try to change other people. Not only does it not work; it creates resentment and distance.

Read moreChanging other people is a skill that can be learned. Here’s how…

Why doing something pleasurable increases your energy levels

hOne of the most important things you can do for other people is to do enjoyable things for yourself, things that uplift you and give you pleasure.

It won’t surprise you to hear that I get a lot of resistance when I suggest this. “I don’t have the time”, “I have too much to do” and the worst excuse of the lot, “it would be selfish”.

And yet,

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Don’t you wish it were easier?

This is what I know:

In order to keep learning and growing, we need to expand our comfort zone. Everybody knows that, right?

But then I came across this article that suggests that stepping beyond our comfort zone can not only be hard work but it can also be very uncomfortable, at least until we master whatever we wanted to learn.

hThat’s what it’s usually like to climb our learning curve, be it learning to drive, learning a new language or learning how to create better relationships.

The more we want something, the more we’re likely to be determined to succeed. And that’s

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What happened when I failed to listen to myself

shutterstock_220931875Something happened to me recently that brought on a memory.

It was November about 4 years ago – near Christmas but not near enough for me to slow down so I kept pushing myself. There was so much to do! Not just my work but my social life too. There were demands and expectations from people, and things I would normally handle easily, became a real challenge – like saying ‘No’.

Not only that, but

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The power of the mind: how to make it work for you

hSome years ago I attended a personal development weekend residential programme. By the second day we had all bonded and the facilitator set us an exercise:

He asked for volunteers and Sarah raised her hand. She was selected and

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Do you have any idea what impact a kind gesture might have?

hI have a lot to give!

The house my husband and I had lived in for 22 years had finally been sold. At last I could move on from my 37-year marriage. I had already chosen a flat. Everything was going well.

Then my

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Would you like to know the secret to closer relationships?

hI get upset when I read an obituary about some well-known personality who died of some lingering illness who, that obituary says, had accepted their situation and never complained. The tone is always one of admiration.

Apparently, they keep their pain and suffering to themselves because they don’t want to burden the people they love. Sounds

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Where there’s a will there’s a way

I was brought up to believe that other people’s needs and desires always came first, especially when they conflicted with mine. As a result of this, two things happened:

  1. I was often out of touch with my own needs and desires, and
  2. When I did recognise them I was either too afraid of expressing them or diluted them in such a way that they mostly went unheard.

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